Parent Teacher Conference Tips

It's *that* time of year:






Parent Teacher Conferences are a terrific opportunity for communication between educators and the families of their students, but remember, they aren’t the only one! Preparation for conferences, and frankly, any and all communication that will occur during kindergarten, has to take place at the beginning of the school year (*great* Michaele, thanks for telling me in October!). What opportunities for communication might you have?

~Many districts have “Back to School” picnics or an Open House Night where families and their children visit the school, meet their teachers, and perhaps even see the classroom for the first time. This first impression sets the tone, so sincerity, respect, and a cheerful greeting go a long way in making children and their families feel welcome.

~E-mail communication has steadily been replacing the traditional “teacher notes” that used to be sent home.

~Many teachers call parents, making sure that each family hears from the teacher weekly for updates, humorous anecdotes, or suggested activities that families can help their child with at home.

~Monthly class newsletters are another way for teachers to communicate with parents throughout the year, touching on concepts covered, noting special projects and events, etc.

~Classroom blogs or web sites are accessible by families with computer access at home.

Whatever form(s) of communication a teacher chooses to utilize with parents and families, it/they must be used consistently. Sporadic newsletters or notes, only calling home if there’s a problem, or taking too long to reply to a note/e-mail or return a phone call from a parent may be interpreted by parents as disorganization or a lack of caring on the teacher’s part.

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The ways I communicate with parents include:

* Asking parents if they’d like to receive weekly classroom notes via e-mail, and obtaining e-mail address from those who do.
* Sending out paper copies of the class note each Friday to families who don’t have computer access.
* Sending home a monthly calendar in advance so parents can plan to volunteer in the classroom, act as chaperones for us on a field trip, donate needed materials, or send in a special snack.
* Utilizing one prep time as my designated “return calls” time (that parents are told of in advance) so parents know when to expect a call from me. Uninterrupted work time with my students and their parents’ uninterrupted activities in their own workplaces are equally important to me.
* Parent Teacher Conferences, formally scheduled twice a year, though I let parents know they can schedule a conference any time with me if they’d like to touch base about their child.

I’ve found that providing multiple ways to communicate with parents tends to take most of the pressure off of the time we spend together “formally” at Parent Teacher Conferences. Regular communication from the start of school means that there are usually no surprises and no time lost to questions like “Well, what does my kid do in here each day?” The rapport created between parents and teachers early on makes it likely that parents will attend the conferences and communicate more with teachers... two very good things!



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Conference Tips:

* Post your conference schedule outside of your classroom door so parents can check it instead of interrupting your conference with another family.

* Make sure your report cards, assessments, classwork, etc. are in order and accessible to you on your desk so you can move through each conference smoothly, even if they are scheduled back to back.

* Create a sign in sheet so you have a record of who attended.

* Set up a small table and chairs in the hallway so parents who arrive early can wait comfortably. Leave books, education articles, a copy of the state standards, fliers from the P.T.A. etc. that they might find interesting.

* Make sure every student has at least one terrific project or artwork sample on display in the hallway AND in the classroom.

* Speaking with several (or many!) families during conferences can take its toll on your voice. Keep hydrated with water, but don’t be rude- I buy a case of bottled water so that I can offer each parent some as well.

* I like to present parents with a portfolio/folder of their child’s work that we can go over in addition to the report card. I keep enough samples and assessments in my own folders for documentation, and have student work displayed in the classroom and hallway, but parents do enjoy taking some of their child’s special work home with them after meeting with the teacher.

* It’s important to stay on schedule. Parents often use their lunch break or get special permission to leave work in order to meet with you, so setting a time limit, and politely offering to schedule additional time at some later date if necessary is essential so the parents who are waiting for their turn are seen on time. If you know in advance a particular conference is going to “run long,” block out two time slots for that family.

* Remember, even “difficult” conferences can be very helpful and provide you and your students’ parents with essential information. I have always thanked parents for attending their child’s conference, even when things haven’t run as smoothly as we might have liked. We all have “off days,” but that doesn’t have to ruin communication for the entire year.

* Schedule a fifteen minute break so that you can eat a quick snack (keep a toothbrush handy since you don’t want to be “that teacher with lettuce stuck in his/her teeth”), visit the bathroom or get a breath of fresh air to recharge your batteries.

* When you next have all of your students with you in class, make sure you let them know how nice it was to have spent time with their families!

Parent Teacher Conferences

It's Parent-Teacher Conference Day today!

I'm looking forward to hearing what my Super Stars' parents will share with me, and of course, I'm excited to be able to provide them with information from preliminary assessments. I've checked/assessed the following:

~ Hand dominance and pencil grip

~ Ability to identify:

*Letter names (uppercase/lowercase)

*Letter sounds

*Colors

*Patterns

*Numbers (0-9, OUT of order)

~ Ability to extend or create original patterns

~ Knowledge of personal safety information (can a student recite his/her name, address, phone number)

...and of course, the biggie: BEHAVIOR.

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Conferences require balance, patience, enthusiasm, sincerity, inquisitiveness, humor, and the ability to recover if one "stumbles." Thank goodness flowery tights and theatrical make up are not conference essentials!

Climbing the Walls for Students

Apologies in advance, I'm still recovering from our latest round of Parent Teacher Conferences and all of the germs that have taken an extended tour in my classroom this month. As a result, my brain has had to sort through a Sudafed-haze before coming to any semi-clear landscape where the teacher's voice inside my head can speak without generating a painful echo. Nice acoustics in here when I'm sick though...or perhaps I should be worried?

As usual, the part of me that craves efficiency, simplicity, an Occam's Razor bottom-line when it comes to kindergarten issues, is feeling a bit let-down after conferences. Many parents attended ready to talk and interact, interested in not only how their children were doing academically but socially as well. They made proactive statements, asked proactive questions, and expressed interest in not only the Here-and-Now but on down the line as well. Several other families, recovering from their own bouts of illness attended and made sure to bring their grocery-list of questions to remember to ask (I assume they too were navigating a cold/flu medicine fog) which we readily covered, checking off each topic as we moved from handwriting, coloring, math skills, recess behavior, school crushes (yes, this early), and whether or not PE shoes were getting too tight. Finally, the Award/Accolade/Keeping-Up-With-the-Joneses-by-Pushing-Our-Children-to-Ridiculous-Extremes families attended. They voiced their concerns with accusatory questions, such as: "Why isn't my daughter reading at a second grade level by now like her brother was at her age?" "What do you mean, there is no Gifted and Talented Program for my child in kindergarten?" "Why isn't my son sitting and sounding out words for several hours each day at school, he will learn to read, won't he?" "Isn't it time to move the students away from those learning centers? I mean, they're just PLAYING." You get the idea, and I'll bet you have a very clear mental image of who I'm talking about.

Just to let you know, the accusatory part of the questioning isn't what bothered me. I've taught long enough to know that while I can't please everyone all of the time, I can still do a good job and provide students valuable, fun, and meaningful learning experiences that help build their foundation for not only school, but for life. The part of the Scorekeeper Parents' questions that bothered me was the fact that they clearly reflected the families' true nature of competition instead of care. Acquiring shiny trophies over acquiring a decent self-truth. Hoop-jumping instead of Life-Living. It also reminded me of just how little parents CHOOSE to know about their children, and therefore, about me and the job I do. Oddly, it still surprises me annually when I'm faced with the realization that some of the parents of my students don't feel the need or obligation to think outside of their own boxes when necessary, which happens on a daily basis with children. It must be the optimist in me. I trust that people will think, explore, postulate, and re-evaluate. Perhaps it's a natural carry-over from the fact that I'm PAID to help children do these things. It's a bridge to me until I run smack into the wall that some parents have somehow managed to bring along with them on this kindergarten trek. And each year, I have to have the rope and grappling hook ready to fling over the wall, the fitness and fortitude to haul my butt up to the top, and then the diplomacy skills to entice the parents to scale their side of the wall to join me for a looksie.

What do I try to show the parents who join me at the higher altitude?

That reading isn't sounding out words in boring texts. "Sad Sam was sad" isn't NEARLY as interesting or literacy-rich as "NO DAVID!" (Be honest S.F.A.'ers, do you really LIKE those KinderRoots "books" or does David Shannon speak more to your own inner-reader?). Guess why?

That learning is three-dimensional, multi-sensory, and consuming. It offers new information, it helps develop preference, it gives us a common language and schema so that we may better communicate and interact, and it offers its own rewards and pleasures. Ask any adult trying a new cuisine for the first time about their own apprehension, their awkwardness, their fear, their effort, their discovery, their satisfaction, and their possible JOY at having learned or found something NEW. That's what children experience daily, all the time, and not just with food, but with LIFE. It's not **just** playing. It's learning. It's developing. It's reinforcing. It's expanding. It's negotiating, sharing, and making other discoveries possible and less frightening. Don't take away those Lego's just yet. Yes, the silly puppet voice really does help. Shake your Sillies Out regularly. For some kids, mustard and peanut butter sandwiches are AWESOME tasting.

That test scores aren't the bottom line and they aren't who your children are, no matter what a teacher tells you. No matter what a school district report card tells you. No matter what a nation's government administration tells you. Personal preferences aside, parents, employers, neighbors, are always going to be wanting to rank each other in some form, in some way, for whatever reasons.... be they good ones or not. It's the nature of our beast. But if YOU don't like being merely a number, don't do everything in your power to turn your child into one (or let others do it for you). Remember, figures don't lie, but liars sure can figure. Imagine your life today if it was steered by that one red-ink percentage score on the French test you failed in high school. Not cool.

And finally, parents need to be brave. Choose bravery over living in fear. Your children do it every day in my classroom. Don't fear the tests. Don't fear the Joneses. Don't wake up shaking because your daughter only has a Dora backpack instead of a Louis Vuitton. Get some finger paint out. Bake some cookies. Catch some bugs. Listen to the rain. Sing a song. Have a book swap with your friends and neighbors. Actually TRY eating green eggs and ham. Stop. Listen. Think. Hear. Smell. Taste. Touch. See. Live. It's how you discover what your own Big Picture is. It's how you help your child discover his or her own. Enjoy your discoveries. Don't fear them. If you like trophies, these are the shiniest of them all.

Thankfully, enough parents each year scale that wall, balance at the top for a bit, and then join me on the other side. The optimist in me can't help looking forward to the year that the bridge runs unobstructed from point A to point B, with mutual sharing and learning motoring both ways. Until then, the rope and grappling hook are properly packed and stored.

Happy Almost-Spring. Time to read some Carl Sagan again before the next round of Sudafed. Maybe it will help!